So…Now What?
So…..Now What?
We’ve all been there….you put something together, from idea to execution, feel like all bases are covered, details completed, stars are aligned ~ and then…. Along comes a 30 foot wave of disappointment, which then crashes down so hard, you aren’t sure which way is up. Now What?
It is said that success isn’t determined by what happens to you in this life, it’s how you respond to what happens…. It is my belief that in that moment, is where our future lives.
Give In. Give Up. Move On. You Tried.
That is one option. One that I would say largely dominates because it gives us permission to comfortably, justifiably, lick our wounds and move in the direction of what some may describe as “safe.” I invite you to consider that moving in that direction, is most likely opposite of moving in the direction of your dreams.
In the same sense that allowing ourselves to believe that life “is what it is” (i literally cringe when I hear people say this, as it is such powerless statement, drenched in “victim”, and topped with a sprinkle of cynicism), there is another equally powerful “trap”….. the one of staying stuck and doing nothing because the fear of being “wrong” or “failing” is greater than your current ability to see beyond that fear.
Here’s is what I know….. Success, most always, comes only after there have been some considerable “failures” ~ or, as I prefer to call them, “Rehearsals.” How do you get better? How do you get beyond what isn’t working? You tweak, you alter, you fine tune….and you do it again. and again. and again.
Keep your eyes and your heart focused on the impact that pursuing and achieving this goal / dream will have on your life, your family, your community, your world.
Do not allow negativity and doubt to steal your passion and vision.
Do acknowledge what is true and present for you in this moment…be sad, angry, deflated, anxious, frustrated, embarrassed, whatever it may be, give yourself a specific and limited amount of time to process and then be done. Pick yourself up, grab a pen and something to write on and reaffirm what it is that you are creating and what this accomplishment will give you. Get clear and definite about your purpose. Create your reality with your thoughts and your language…the two most powerful tools we have.
Surround yourself with people who are better, smarter, more spiritual, wealthier, more successful, more focused, more loving than you are….as we are all the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with…limit your time with those who try to keep you thinking, speaking, living in the realm of what is “common”, rather than supporting and encouraging you to shift your thinking, speaking, and living into the realm of what is possible.
Imagine if Thomas Edison had listened to all those folks who kept rallying for him to “Give Up. Give In. Move On.” after 10,000 “rehearsals”, he created the light bulb.
What will be your light bulb?
Shine.
Live, Love, Give…….
~R
September 25th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
That was an interesting perspective you have on “It is what it is”. I say that all the time but my perspective never was from the standpoint of a victim. For me, I saw it as “acceptance” rather than “denial” and as a starting point in which to look at “what’s possible now”. I’d cringe myself if I thought anyone heard it from me as anything otherwise. We do always have the power to walk-on– standup– create again. Loved the blog. Thanks.
September 25th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I really enjoy your post. I will return over the next couple days to sip it again a few more times. Your method for handling upset IS what works. Far too many people stuff it, ‘be nice’ and eventually go ballistic or become depressed.
September 25th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Riana, your posts, and Donna’s comment above express so clearly that we can have devastating things happen to us, but what IS…is. Now, the ball is in our court. What do we choose?
Thank you for shining a beautiful beacon of light in world of storms. It’s not only what happens, but it’s what we choose to do with it when it comes to roost.
Riana, your choices give me encouragement.
Carry Hope with You and Give It Freely,
G
September 26th, 2009 at 1:54 am
So…now what?
Is where I’m at….and there IS a fear of doing IT wrong.
I raised 6 children and just last night attended the birth of my sixth grandchild.(attended All so far)
I am a photographer/artist.
When my youngest son was a senior in high school…(five years ago)I lept into my dream of having a studio.( I’ve been an artist all my life and a photographer for 25.)
I ended up with a gallery/studio in a small towns oldest building. It was very very tough but I was attempting to live part of my dreams.
Recently, two days before my middle daughters wedding on Aug 1st my business burned totally down. Only a few things were saved.
Years of work …all my equiptment …no insurance.
The second business to burn down…1st a clothing store when I was 23.
I watched numbly as they tore the rest of the building down today.(it is what it is) haha
I’m in the midst of a nasty divorce as well.
But beauty does surround me still. I am blessed.
My computer guy was by what he calls “a miracle” able to save three melted external harddrives of photos and artwork today.(although I lost two more)
I have a beautiful family…(though so big and intense it’s always like a three ring circus)
Never a dull moment
…but I do still feel rather lost…and confused…numb…cried out….and afraid maybe to do it “wrong” again
…besides “How will I Do it” I’m not sure where any resources will come from this time.
and I Am asking
“so what now?”
I know I have to make a New manifestation board and writing.
I would like clear direction
Sometimes, I’m afraid I’m not hearing
Your blogs are upbeat
not sure why I’m writimg…I’m not expecting a reply
September 27th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Amazing! Not clear for me, how offen you updating your http://www.yourverybestlife.com.
Thanks
Joker
September 28th, 2009 at 6:58 am
I’ve found that some of the best things in my life have come from disappointment. Many years ago I lost my job. I was really disappointed. So disappointed, that I ate cookies for 2 weeks and gained 5 lbs. After two weeks of feeling helpless and sorry for myself, I refocused and redirected. I lost the 5 “cookie” pounds and found a great job that has completely changed my life. It took me 5 months to find a great job, but I knew what I wanted and I was willing to wait for it, rather than just settling. I’ve always been a little amazed by the great blessings that have come my way, but know it’s more than dumb luck.
On a different, but vaguely related note. I’ve been very surprised and disappointed lately by how people treat one another. Just this past weekend I was at my daughter’s volleyball tournament and one of the girls made a mistake. One on the parent’s on the sideline said, “Way to go Maria, you just cost us a point”. You can only imagine how this made Maria feel, not to mention the inappropriate and poor example this parent was setting for the girls. This is just one example of what I’ve seen people do recently. I’d like to challenge everyone reading this blog to be better than that, even on your worst day. Maybe she felt that her actions were justified, because she was having a bad day. But, it’s not right to ruin someone else’s day just because you’re having a bad day. Wouldn’t it make more sense to “make” someone else’s day? Making others feel good, can often times make you feel better as well. The Dalai Lama said it best, “When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace”.